Save our Children!

You know...it really kills me to hear about children being abused.
Being taken advantage of in every way shape and form by someone who is in charge of protecting that child and educate that child.

What I would like to know is...why the hell don't people step up and call to report such heinous crimes of humanity.

Why is it so hard to help, to do, to provide security and safety for these children.
Why do folks all run and close their doors treating the victim like a bad case of some sort of deadly disease.

The signs are there, the whispers are heard, yet not a soul could yell for help or cry out for that child in need.

The family protects the villain, they harbor all those evil little secrets and do what they can to ignore the situation out of fear, out of embarrassment, leaving the problem to go unsolved and unattended.
Then wonder why later in life that child grows up to be an abuser him/or herself.
Or a suicide victim, a prostitute, drug abuser, or just becomes another ghost walker living in the streets that people look at and just pass on by...thinking that it is just another homeless person with no will to live, help them selves or desire to work.
Have you ever once stopped to see what is going on? paid attention to those cries in the night.
To all the changes or even noticed them? have you ever once bothered to take the time to think about someone else other then yourself, or your own circle of life?

This affects us all in so many ways. It destroys our communities...breeds ignorance, hatred, crime and poverty. It hampers the ability for one to live a normal and happy life in so many ways.

what the hell is wrong with folks not calling the hot lines for help. That is what it is there for.
Not for show dammit....
Help these abused children. Report a crime, reach out all ready.
Don't you think we have enough damage in this world already and have lost enough innocents without destroying the rest of this world?

RAINN 800-656-4673
CHILD HELP USA NATIONAL CHILD ABUSE HELP LINE
1800-4-A-CHILD
1800-799-7233

Keep these numbers at hand and learn to dial them when the need is there for help. Just do it and don't wait for someone else to do it...for it may be too late!
Keep in mind it could be you, your neighbors your friends or a family member.
Just do it...don't let these child abusers get away with taking the life of our children and crushing their innocents....
I am a victim of physical, sexual, mental abuse. It has taken me years to recover and I still have a long way to go.

I was 2yrs old and this continued until two days before I turned 16.
You have no idea what it is like to grow up in the mist of an active volcano.
You have no idea what it is like to feel as if you are either walking on egg shells or glass. You have no idea what it is like to hide your tears, hold in all the pain and anger and watch as others in your family are also abused.

You don't know what it's like to feel that there is no God.
To have no one to help you. To watch family members of the abuser protect and shelter that person and watch as they do no time.
Watch as your hopes and dreams, and life go down the drain and then you have to pick it all up alone and fix yourself.

You don't know unless you have been there...
The insecurity, the fear, the questions as to why this happened and why it is...
what it's like to be locked in a room with only a Folgers coffee can to relieve yourself in...to have no food, to sleep on cement floors ...to walk around with holes in your shoes in the middle of sub zero weather because you have to...not because you want to or that they won't buy you new shoes...but because you were bad.
You were stupid, you don't belong, you have to earn your keep.
You don't count....
I've been there...I've sat and watched the world go by as I sat in my own private Idaho in pain.
As my innocents and childhood were stolen from me.
With every beating' every nasty word. Every time I smiled...I cried so hard inside hoping nobody would see my weakness and see the dirtyness about me.

I could never be clean enough, never apologize enough, never do, or help enough.
I was trained well...I was beaten down to were I befriended the roots of trees and learned were all the ants hide.

I had no one.
He had all the connections and protection a person could ever ask and want for.
My mother drank to escape, and to make herself numb, so she didn't have to feel the beatings she got from her husband.

She never left the house or was seen without sunglasses regardless of the weather, in order to hide her black eyes.
I don't think any of us kids really knew the true colour of her eyes behind those dark sunglasses until we were much older.

Behind closed doors...we took our beatings, we bleed in silence.
We were taught to only speak when spoken to.
"children should be seen and not heard".

I cooked, cleaned and cared for my siblings as well as my mother and had to take care of the worst of abusers....i was young had no outlet, had no help. No God to save me.

I worked three jobs just to forget...ran away from everyone and everything I knew.
I ran out of fear, out of embarrassment out of shame: I was suicidal and had the biggest death wish ever.
Why? It wasn't my fault. I didn't do this to myself.


I'm almost 43yrs old. I have been a nail bitter since I was 2.
Trust me...I bit my nails down to the bone until they bleed. It didn't hurt.
Not compared to what he did to me.
Hell bloody fingers were a walk in the park to me..a mosquito bite that was all.

I'll be a sun of a gun...I have finally tried to stop biting my finger nails and low and behold my past demon from those nasty depths of hell have returned.

This time to steal the innocents of someone Else's children whom he has custody of.
His wife? she is a nurse and scared as shit of him, everyone is scared of him.
He got away with so much destruction, so much abuse and was allowed to continue without facing the consequences for what he has done.

He has friends in high places that is why.
Well..I'm out of his reach now and all grown up.
He can't touch me!
The law will soon catch up to that child abuser, at least I sure as hell hope.
I did call the child abuse hot line for them.
I hope and pray they get to the children in time.

The reason for this blog is for my own well being. For my sanity. For my mental health.
It gives me something to do to keep my mind off of depression. Off of suicide.
It helps me to connect and feel alive. To know I am not out there alone.
It also gives me the chance to let the world know what I think and feel, as well as it does for all.

I would hate as hell to know that I have put out information in vain and not a soul could give a rats ass about it...
People...we need to get involved and stop closing our eyes to all of this.
We need to help in anyway that we can.

You think it is not your problem..ya right.
Welfare, unemployment, mental health care costs...folks going postal...the cycle continues and grows stronger every second...it hits all of us not only in the pockets, but in our hearts, in our homes, in our schools.

Help to stop breeding all this destruction and help do something constructive man.
HELP FOR GOD SAKES...don't just close your doors, and lock the windows , shutters and what ever else you use to hide behind. Get involved and do something.
Pay attention to your children. Watch out for them.
They are our future, they are the countries next president...hell man look at Bush..ya don't want another president in office who has committed a felony now do ya...and he only got away with it because of daddy.

OK..he has done a few things right..I'm just not quite sure what yet...but regardless of this...

We need to educate, to protect...to covert our children.
To listen, hear, talk and love them, care for them, feed and cloth them.
And most of all enjoy them, enjoy the laughter and cherish it...
help them grow in all the right ways.

We had no laughter in our house that was true. We had no good in our home, no love, no care, hell half the time no food...ya know...mamma's gotta drink and daddy's gotta go out and play and then come home and beat the kids...sexually abuse the kids...then torment the kids first...

Like to kneel on raw rice? how about a board without allowing your feet or toes to touch the floor...you have to have perfect posture...and of course fold your hands behind your head..if your good at that well then..he will just have you stay in that position and then outstretch your arms with palms to the sky holding jars of sand on this board that is cutting into your knees...touch the wall and he will have his foot up your ass so fast you see stars and end up with a broken nose and have to stay in that position longer .
Yes...we bled a lot from him.
We know knives, guns, sticks, stones, bad words, anger, aggression, depression, alienation, loss, hunger, pain...all the worst things in life to grow up with.

We had neighbors...they were nice. We would shovel their snow for them, clean their yards, sweep their sidewalks....go to the store for them.
We were the neighborhood runner's for them.
The one's who got the blame for what their kids did.
They knew, we would get our butts kicked for just looking the wrong way down the street.
I guess it was entertainment for them to see us get our butts kicked in public to "teach us a lesson".

They knew, they kept quiet and waited for someone else to handle the situation and help us.
The schools knew...the doctors knew, hell his whole family as well as hers knew.
They all waited for someone else to help us.

I didn't get help until My Aunt Sharon entered my life.
By then I was 14 almost 15 years old.

My mom's husband, the devil himself took us to Oregon away from my mother.
I guess he thought his brother would keep his secret and close his eyes like he did all the other times.
But he under estimated my aunt Sharon who did pay attention, who didn't close her eyes or ears...
who opened her heart and home to us...


My Aunt helped me. She found out what he was doing. She noticed something not right with him and with me and my brother.

He slipped up and left another one of his famous threat notes for me...and I tore it up and tossed it into the garbage where she found it and taped it back together.
He ran...I stood in front of a grand jury ( bullshit jury of your peers )
to testify. Me being the victim made to feel like the villain.
Him...well they guaranteed me no protection before during or after the trial.
So here is what he got...by the state or Oregon.
Parental Guardianship was removed from them...he was issued a warrant for his arrest if he ever stepped foot in Oregon..and I was protected for the ( by then ) last year of my life in Oregon...

I have been through the depths of hell to get to were I am now.
You would never guess anything if you seen me...
I smile now. All the time and for real. I love me...well sometimes...
but I have survived, I have love, care tenderness, loyalty, my own family.
No children...I can't have any due to the damage caused by this man.

So after all of that...all the time it took me to heal, and not completely I might add.
I come to find out he is at it again....and what is his family doing? helping to hide him...helping to cover for him, to pretend it is not happening, to allow this man to continue on his rampage...
he needs to be stopped and I called and god willing he will be this time....
all of these years later....why...the law...the family...the protection that he has...his friends in high places....

Let this be a warning to all who reads this...
Protect your children. Watch them, love them, give them what they need to grow.
To become mature consented adults without the violence, without the abuse.
Don't destroy young minds before they have a chance to develop.
Don't help the the spread of destruction and abuse...stop it before it is too late.
life is way too short for this shit to happen.
WE deal with enough turmoil in our lives to have to deal with an abuser...so stop it now...pick up the phone and call...
before someone gets hurt.

Updated information:
He has gotten away with it again. Protected by his friends in all the right places.
"Mr.Sneed" in Chicago who handled the case let him get away.
Let those kids continue to be abused. To think, this man works for the city of Chicago's children's protective services.
Nice to know we have such good folks in our mist to let such things continue to go on and breed violence, hatred, discrimination and pain.
No wonder there is so much crime. So much violence in this world.
God bless them all, God is watching and keeping score.
I hope the fucker burns in hell!